I was told by a 17 year-old troll in regards to porn that “As an adult, nobody can force you to do something you don’t want to do. As a 31 year-old woman, you should know this.”
Oh, really, now? Let me go ahead and prove this wrong. Because I can tell you that anyone who believes this needs to disabuse themselves of such a naive farce. It’s annoying, and it keeps popping up like a fly you thought you killed but there it is again!
Adult liberal feminists and their allies do think the same way but the teenager was just more about honest about it. Instead, the libfems will talk about how in the sex industry they can refuse any person or act they don’t want and they freely consent, they have choice, etc. And johns (including the guys who jerk off to porn) pretend the women are goddesses. So basically they’re invincible happy hookers – for a while, anyway, in their 15 minutes of fame.
For children and teenagers, my issue is not primarily going to be the argument about “lack of life experience” because I’ve met adults who should probably have more life experience for their age and I also hate when people use this to get others to do and agree with something harmful: “Try it, and see for yourself!” assuming they will and should change their minds. Instead, I think it is about the inability to make decisions and to be fully informed. However: This happens to adults as well. Adults cannot have the ability to make decisions and to be fully informed when they do not even have the opportunities to do so. Except this is not due to parents’ restrictions but systematic oppression and life circumstances, both of which follow children into adulthood. So why do we allow – at least on a superficial level – dignity, health and safety to children but not adults?
As an adult I can tell you there are plenty of things that people can force you to do or force upon you without your willingness to do so or whether you like it or not. Especially if you are an adult female. And all of this is outside the sex industry:
– Bosses firing you
– Getting your position replaced by someone younger
– Bosses blackmailing you for sex in order to keep your job
– Bosses telling you to wear makeup
– Bosses getting you to do things you are not paid to do and that you do not like
– Employers lying about the nature of the work
– Employers underpaying you
– A quota or a list of certain things you are to do in a binding contract
– Employers getting you to agree they will not be responsible for what happens to you (such as an indemnity clause)
– Men sexually harassing you, groping, stalking you, catcalling you as they ride by in their cars
– Men telling you to smile at work and anywhere else in public
– Men expecting you to coddle their feelings, console and prioritize them
– A man giving you an STD without telling you
– A man refusing to wear a condom or just pretending to wear one or ending up taking it off
– Men slandering you and otherwise emotionally abusing you (see: sexual harassment)
– Men thinking they know what’s best for you and more about womanhood than you do, redefining womanhood and getting the social approval and validation for it
– Men wanting to regulate women’s bodies (see: abortion) or bodies in general (drug tests for employment and welfare)
– Customer trying to steal or haggle prices as part of entitlement to whatever they want
– Customer getting you in trouble with the boss for no reason or a trivial thing
– Protection of the customer over you as an employee
– Customer belittlement of you as a servant or slave
– People telling you that your biological clock is ticking and you need to hurry up and get married before you’re old and worthless
– Men assuming you’re stupid because you’re a woman and doing a lower-class job
– Men soliciting you for sex (see: sexual harassment)
– Men thinking you are no longer attractive when you’re old and “used up” (“old” for women being about 40 years of age)
– Men rating your attractiveness on a number scale
– Men believing women are sexually manipulative and evil temptresses
– Men feeling entitled to sex because they gave you or paid for something
– Men talking about how women are fickle and always change their minds, implying they’re not allowed to
– Men reducing all relationships to transactional sex or thinking sex is a woman’s job
– Men thinking women are “lying whores” and gold-diggers
– Women not being allowed to directly and bluntly say “no”
– Women believing a non-abusive man is simply one that doesn’t hit them
– Women being at the mercy of men in men’s cars (i.e. men giving them rides)
– Women being pressured to do sex acts by men due to their viewing porn
– Women being blamed for not living up to men’s sexual fantasies
– Trauma, including PTSD and self-harming
– Victim-blaming (she deserved it, she chose to be there, etc.)
– Men demonizing you for having sex: calling you a slut, saying you have a “loose pussy” etc.
– Men demonizing you for rejecting them: calling you a bitch, dyke, ugly, etc.
Within the sex industry, however, all of these risks are multiplied many times over because they are work hazards considered to be part of the job, and of course it involves sex so that differentiates it from the risks of other jobs. Now all of that shit is in the context of a
boss pimp and customers johns. But by using work euphemisms what is considered unacceptable outside the sex industry is suddenly acceptable within it and there is no leeway because it is a contract. This is not a way I would wish for any woman to live.