The number of assumptions made about women who are against the sex industry, thanks to sex industry advocates, take precedence over the actual reasons women give as to why they are against the sex industry. These assumptions involve one or more of the following. Note these assumptions are incredibly reductionist and have the common use of the word “just.”
“You have daddy issues”
There’s no way to know this, but the catch of this accusation is how it infantilizes women. Women against the sex industry are “little girls looking for their daddy,” sotospeak.
“You’re just anti-sex”
Not that I am, but even if I was, so what? I’d be an asexual, but even asexuals don’t deserve this condescension.
“You’re just a religious fundamentalist”
This goes hand-in-hand with the “anti-sex” accusation because pornstitution supporters can’t comprehend that there are solid arguments that don’t rely on religious rhetoric. Of course they’d know that if they were actually interested in listening. Anyway, secular men are no less immune to religious conditioning from their culture when they prove that they too believe women are evil temptresses and are “tainted” by men’s dicks and become “whores” and “sluts.” By implying that anything concerning morality is religiously motivated, they take on an amoral stance.
“You wouldn’t know because you’ve never been in the sex industry”
I haven’t, but you know what? There are plenty of women against the sex industry who have been in it, and furthermore, they are not obliged to disclose and risk their privacy due to sexual harassment or the “no true Scotsman” fallacy being hurled at them. If they do disclose, then you need to be respectful of that.
“You’re just mentally ill”
Armchair diagnoses are the last resort of the truly desperate who can’t be bothered to address the argument. Plus it’s gaslighting and further stigmatizes actual mentally ill people; mentally ill people are not obliged to disclose, either.
“You have low self-esteem” or “You’re ugly”
Translation: I’m a condescending prick who is concluding that you are desperate and no one would ever fuck you, because I totally speak for all potential sex partners you may have, and don’t you know that your worth is based on conventional beauty standards? You silly woman, you should be taking sexual harassment and catcalling as a compliment! Take whatever you can get!
“You hate men”
If the men that support the sex industry define what it is to be called a “man,” and what “manhood” is, I don’t want any part of it. Also, while it can be said that many men use porn, it is assumed that most if not all men use it, which is patently false. Hating someone that a typical man does is not akin to hating him or men as a class, personally. Stop taking my criticisms so damn personally; that’s your problem.
“You’re a lesbian”
Lesbophobia in action and also the implication that lesbians are a “waste” because not only are they derided for loving women but for rejecting men (unlike bisexual women). Lesbians are hated when they exist outside of men’s porn fantasies.
“You’re a feminazi”
I’ve already debunked this here.
Of course, none of these assumptions match up with the real reasons I’m against the sex industry. And the real reasons are:
– I have concluded that after a lot of reading and listening to exited women that the industry is corrupt and must be abolished;
– Women in the sex industry deserve harm prevention over harm reduction and every opportunity to leave if they so desire and have the same rights as non-prostituted women;
– The sex industry does not demonstrate healthy attitudes and practices surrounding sex nor can anything in it serve as “sexual initiation” for men;
– The sex industry further marginalizes the outcasts of society: those who could not get or keep their jobs due to mental illness, addictions, criminal records, discrimination, or immigration status; it is not a solution;
– I am a member of the sex class being oppressed and which is predominantly being victimized in the sex industry as well as the transactional model of sex in society and relationships;
– While some experiences in the sex industry are “meh” (particularly those in the prostitution position of high-class escort or call girl), overall their experiences are bad even where legalized;
– The sex industry is not about choices for women but about serving men, their sexual desires, their sexual pleasure even while they’re misogynist and make women financially dependent on them;
– Many women, even if they were not involved in the industry, get faced with the decision of possibly entering it due to life circumstances and lack of freedom (for this reason I am also against surrogacy as trafficking of women’s bodies for reproductive use); it’s insulting to tell women to risk their health and possibly their lives to “try it and see for yourself” when every other woman in the sex industry admits you need to be hypervigilant and street smart, and even then you’re not guaranteed safety;
– Men who have never even been in the sex industry talk about what they *think* it would be like for women just as if they imagined it’d be like for them as men, although as men they’d still have different experiences;
– Truly free sex is takes into account the sexual orientation of the women (not assuming they’re straight, just “need a good dicking,” or are attracted to the men individually — compulsive heterosexuality) and (mutual) sexual attraction with no form of coercion involved;
Most of all:
– It’s not about you nor about me, but about the women — stop believing everything you see on the screen after all the editing.
I can speak for myself, assholes! Now then, if men are really after the truth from women in the sex industry and claim that they should be able to speak for themselves, then likewise they should stop mansplaining and listen to what exited women and women against the sex industry are saying, too. They overlap, so it’s only fair.