I dislike using this word in personal conversation regarding sex now that I have become more aware of the insidiousness of patriarchy. Thank you, feminist writers.
I do not feel deprived by not using this word., nor that there is anything to gain by using it I think it is a word we use while immature. Somehow having sex isn’t thrilling enough; it must be cheapened and detached in reference to who is fucking or being fucked.
This word makes me think of climbing on top of someone and furiously humping away impulsively without forethought or foreplay, simply to get one’s rocks off and be over and done with. I cannot imagine doing this to my partner nor they to me. Therefore I banish this word from my vocabulary since I have lovers; not fuckbuddies, not one-night stands, not flings, not friends-with-benefits. I cannot have sex without love, and in my years I have come to be more choosy and make sure my partner reciprocates in kind. I know – “having sex” or “making love” is one more word to utter, and your friends may well laugh at you for being emotional, as if either had to be passionless by default. Fucking is so easy. It’s making love that’s hard.
So look at the word that gave birth to this one, the mother tongue. What was it? Probably German. Striking, rubbing. It is an obscenity to the prevalent morality, expressing disdain and anger. You cannot write verbal without verb. Here it is acting upon another, that other which is usually passive. Being screwed. Like an object, a tool. A battering of the door that leads to paradise without looking into the eyes of the holder. There is no beauty; there is nothing to behold.
You might be fucked, but this word will not come in my mouth. It’s not sufficient to describe my experiences. I express disdain at a word used to express disdain.